Deciding Who Will Deliver the Eulogy

Adult and young women with documents

Delivering a eulogy is one of the greatest privileges a person can have. At the same time, however, the experience of delivering the final farewell to a friend or loved one can be emotionally overwhelming. As you are thinking about people you would like to speak at the funeral you are planning, or even at your own memorial service, consider who would be able to rise to the occasion. Anyone who was close to the deceased can deliver a eulogy, though the honor is typically reserved for clergy at very religious funerals and memorial services. Given the emotional wherewithal it takes to deliver a eulogy, do not feel offended if people decline your offer to speak at your funeral or the funeral you are planning.

Meet with the funeral planners at Valley of the Temples in Oahu for help with all of the details of your funeral. Our funeral pre-planning experts can help put all of your arrangements in order so your family doesn’t have to when your time on earth comes to an end. Visit our memorial park or call us at (808) 239-8811 to learn more about our pre-planning services

Advice for Parents on Talking to Children about Death

Children often have a hard time understanding exactly what death means. When death does occur, whether it’s losing a family pet or the passing of a relative or close friend, make sure to engage with your children to help them cope with the loss and move on emotionally. In this video, psychologist Dr. Charlotte Reznick shares advice for parents on talking to children about death. She suggests letting children use their imagination to come to terms with death and what it means to them.  

If you yourself need help grieving the loss of a friend or loved one, the grief support counselors here at Valley of the Temples Memorial Park in Oahu can help. Our online counseling services are available 24/7. We can also help you plan a fitting farewell for your loved one at our beautiful cemetery in Oahu. To learn more, contact us online or call us at (808) 239-8811. 

Dealing with the Loss of a Parent

In love

Even if your parent lives a long, happy life, his or her passing can have a significant impact on you and your family. Everyone knows that death is an important part of life, and that everyone must one day say goodbye to their parents; still, you shouldn’t feel ashamed of your feelings of sadness. Read on for help coping with the loss of your parent :  

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Most people have rather complex relationships with their parents, and it can be difficult to find closure after a parent passes away. Whether you had a happy childhood or a miserable one, you should do your best to confront your feelings and find a way forward. You may find that writing down your feelings in a journal or expressing yourself through creative endeavors can help you address your anger, sadness, and other emotions.

Reach Out to Friends and Family

Another way to confront your feelings is to seek out friends and family members who understand what you’re going through. If you have any siblings, you can help each other confront your difficult emotions. You’ll find that your friends and loved ones are very understanding of your pain; speaking with them can help you remember the good attributes of your parent and forgive their shortcomings. 

Focus on Your Physical Wellbeing

After your parent passes, you may want to help his or her legacy live on. The best way to do that is to live a happy, healthy life, and share your parent’s wisdom with others. If your parent passed away from cancer, heart disease, or another common and hereditary condition, promise yourself that you’ll undergo regular screenings. Staying healthy can spare your own children the pain of losing a parent for a little while longer.

Finding a suitable burial site for your parent is a great way honor them and ease your own suffering. Located on the beautiful Windward side of Oahu, Valley of the Temples Memorial Park is a place where your parent can truly rest in peace. Call us at (808) 239-8811 to begin cemetery arrangements or funeral pre-planning. 

Understanding the Stages of Grief

The five stages of grief

At one point or another, you’ve likely heard film characters or mental health professionals discuss the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This model was developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and has helped people understand grieving for decades. Though your own grief may not fit neatly into Kübler-Ross’ model, becoming familiar with the stages of grief may help you cope with your feelings.

Denial

It can be difficult for some to accept the loss of a loved one. Denying that a loved one has passed is a defense mechanism that can help dull the shock of loss. However, staying in denial is not a healthy way to grieve; one must eventually face the facts.

Anger

Once you accept the reality of your loved one’s death, you may feel considerable anger. This anger may be aimed at healthcare professionals, your deceased loved one, or even yourself. Many people express anger as a means of hiding from or deflecting their feelings of profound sadness.

Bargaining

During the grieving process, many are eager to regain control of their emotions and of reality in general. You might beat yourself up for behaving a certain way toward your loved one, or you may make a secret deal with a higher power so you can have a little more time with your loved one.

Depression

Depression is often the longest stage of grief, and some people never move beyond it. During this stage, mourners struggle to accept the death of their loved ones and explore ways to carry on.  

Acceptance

Not everyone reaches the acceptance stage. Those who reach this stage truly understand that everyone dies eventually, and that death is what makes life so special. In some ways, grief can stay with you your whole life; still, there are many ways you can enjoy life again.

For help coping with your grief, call Valley of the Temples Memorial Park at (808) 239-8811. In addition to a 24-hour grief support, we provide Oahu residents with simple cemetery arrangements. Visit our website to find out how we can help make the grieving process easier.  

A Look at Buddhist Funeral Traditions

buddhism pray ceremony

There are dozens of different spiritual belief systems, and nearly all of them have unique funeral traditions. Buddhists, for example, believe that death simply leads to rebirth. This belief in reincarnation carries over to the funeral preparations and customs. If you are tasked with planning the funeral of a friend or loved one who was a member of the Buddhist community, or if you are attending your first ever Buddhist funeral, here is a closer look at Buddhist funeral traditions.

Respect and Remembrance

After the body of the deceased has been cleaned, relatives and friends pour water over one hand of the departed in a bathing ceremony. The body is then placed in a casket and surrounded with wreaths, candles, and sticks of incense. Buddhists are typically not buried in fancy clothes, but rather in the everyday clothes that they would normally wear.

Cremation

Many Buddhists choose to be cremated to free the soul from the body. However, because Buddhists believe that several stages of life continue for hours or days after the body dies, cremation does not take place immediately after death. Sometimes, the body is kept for a year or more in a special building at a temple as a sign of respect for the deceased.

Multiple Memorial Services 

Buddhists believe that as long as the body is present, the spirit can benefit from gifts and chants. While the body is waiting to be cremated, memorial services are held on the third, seventh, forty ninth, and hundredth day after death. After cremation, Buddhists believe that the spirit is cut off from our physical world. The living commemorate, honor, and celebrate the spirits that have moved on during “bon,” a special time of the year when ancestral spirits are through to return to visit relatives and friends.

Valley of the Temples Memorial Park in Oahu can help you plan a fitting farewell for your loved one. Our funeral planners have experience with numerous funeral traditions, including Buddhist, Chinese, Catholic, Protestant, and Jewish. Visit our website or call our memorial park at (808) 239-8811 to learn more about our funeral arrangements.