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    Tips for Helping Your Grieving Parent

    Last updated 4 days ago

    Losing your spouse or partner can completely change your world. If your parent is currently experiencing this type of loss, it is important to help with funeral arrangements as well as personal needs. These tips can help you help your parent. 

    Take Care of Household Chores

    After losing your partner, the last thing you think about is keeping up with household chores. Help your parent avoid spending time in a dirty or cluttered home during this difficult period by attending to these chores on your own. Spend time at her house so you can take care of regular cleaning, letting her focus on the grieving process. You may also want to tend to funeral planning needs so that your parent does not have to struggle with the decisions.

    Help With Personal Care Needs

    Along with household cleaning, your parent might stop keeping up with a personal care routine. Something as simple and routine as showering can become a difficult task, especially if your parent is older. Your support and encouragement can help your parent keep up with these responsibilities.

    Listen and Encourage

    Everyone grieves differently. Your parent might want to talk about losing her spouse or she might prefer to not talk at all. No matter how your parent reacts, it is important for you to be there for her to listen and provide encouragement. Listen to your parent if she decides to talk about her feelings or her memories. You might also want to encourage her to find a bereavement group where she can find even more support.

    Be Patient

    Being present and patient is essential during this painful time. Your parent needs support to make it through the grieving process. Simply being around and keeping your patience can provide this much-needed support, helping your parent learn how to handle this new chapter of life.

    Find helpful grief support from the friendly and caring team at Valley of the Temples Memorial Park. Our Oahu memorial park offers beautiful services to say goodbye to loved ones as well as grief support for those they leave behind. Call us at (888) 723-6620 to learn more. 

    A Look at Our Tribute Video Service

    Last updated 11 days ago

    There are many ways to honor the life of a loved one who has passed. Consult the professionals at the cemetery for ideas on paying tribute to your loved one. At Valley of the Temples Memorial Park, a cemetery on Oahu, we offer specially prepared tribute videos, among our other respectful options. If you choose to have a tribute video created for your loved one’s funeral, we will ask that you lend us your meaningful family photographs.

    We will artistically blend your family photographs with beautiful music and other touching images, the end result of which is a cinematic video that may be enjoyed by family members and friends. You may choose to show the tribute video during the funeral or memorial service, and to have copies made for family members and friends.

    At our Byodo-In Temple, Valley of the Temples Memorial Park offers beautiful cemetery arrangements and tribute services. Families in Oahu and beyond are invited to call our cemetery at (888) 723-6620 with any questions they may have about arranging a funeral service for a loved one.

    Byodo-In Temple October 2014 Events

    Last updated 12 days ago

    Check out what's going on at our Byodo-In Temple this month here. Schedule may change without notice, so feel free to contact us at (808) 239-9844.

    Supporting a Friend Through the Loss of a Spouse

    Last updated 16 days ago

    Grieving for the loss of a spouse is an intense process that is often emotionally and physically exhausting. Your friend will need a great deal of support from you as he or she works through complex emotions. He or she will need you there both before the funeral service and well after the spouse has been laid to rest. Understand that everyone grieves in their own unique way; tailor your support to suit your friend’s needs.

    Understand What to Say

    Understanding what to say to a grieving friend is often challenging. Some people may not appreciate statements akin to, “It will get better” or “Everything happens for a reason.” As a general rule of thumb, avoid making statements in the past or future tense. Instead, focus on the present, make truthful statements, and understand that you cannot “fix” the loss. Tell your friend that he or she has your love and your support.

    Offer to Help with the Cemetery Arrangements

    If your friend has no close family members who can help him or her with the funeral and cemetery arrangements, he or she may appreciate your offer of assistance. Be a passive helper when meeting with the professionals at the funeral home and cemetery. In other words, be there to lend your support and offer tissues when needed. However, avoid interjecting your own opinions as to the arrangements unless your friend asks for them.

    Assist with Household Tasks

    Your friend may hear many people telling him or her to call them if he or she needs help. In general, mourners often don’t take people up on these offers. Instead, give your friend a specific offer of help. For example, offer to clean the house to prepare it for the meal that family and friends often share after the funeral. In the weeks and months ahead, offer to walk the dog, provide transportation to doctor’s appointments, and do other simple tasks that your friend may need help with.

    At Valley of the Temples Memorial Park, we strive to support families as they work through the grieving process. In addition to providing funeral pre-planning and cemetery arrangements at our Byodo-In Temple in Oahu, we offer 24/7 grief support services. Please call (888) 723-6620 if you have any questions about grief support or making cemetery arrangements for a loved one.

    Mindfulness: The Buddhist Practice of Being Present

    Last updated 23 days ago

    Join us Saturday, October 4th, from 2 to 3 p.m. for a presentation by Clyde Whitworth at Hawaii Byodo-In Temple.

    Mr. Whitworth has been a student and practitioner of Buddhism for over two and a half decades. He is employed by Bukkyo Dendo Kyokai (The Society for the Promotion of Buddhism) Hawaii branch, and serves as Vice President of the Hawaii Association of International Buddhists. Clyde is also an instructor of Buddhist Studies, and Buddhist Meditation courses, for Fo Guang Shan Hawaii. 

    Admission is $3 for adults, $2 for seniors and $1 for children.

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